1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,000 y'all know what a nigga moment is. 2 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,000 A nigga moment is when the mind 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,000 of a perfectly logical black man 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,000 is overwhelmed by some stupid nigga shit. 5 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,000 I love you, Mommy. 6 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Like when a nigga steps up on your sneaker 7 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,000 and fucks up your kicks, or hits your car or some shit. 8 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,000 MAN: This is our target -- the nuclear power plant. 9 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,000 like it's your fault, like you fucked up. 10 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000 If we capture the plane at precisely the right moment, 11 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,000 So his ignorance makes you act crazy. 12 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,000 Yo. What up? 13 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,000 they will not have time to shoot down the aircraft. And the next thing you know, niggas is beefing, 14 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000 Yeah, I see you, too. What you want, nigga? 15 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,000 shooting, fighting, and somebody ends up dead. 16 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,000 Oh, man, same shit. What's up with you? 17 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,000 MAN: If they hit that power plant 18 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,000 The fuck you mean, "What's up with me?" 19 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,000 the casualties could be in the hundreds of thousands. 20 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,000 Your voice sounds real sexy right now. 21 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,000 God help us all. 22 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,000 Say what? 23 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,000 Okay. Ready? 24 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,000 You wanna talk to me later on? 25 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,000 No, I don't wanna talk later on, motherfucker. 26 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,000 ANNOUNCER: ...except... 27 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,000 What the fuck is wrong with you?! 28 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,000 What the fuck's so sexy about my voice? 29 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,000 What? What is this CPT? that hell had ever seen. 30 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,000 Aw, man, my bad. I was on the phone. 31 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,000 None for me, thanks. 32 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000 Tom, I think you can have WOMAN: That means the plane is gonna 33 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,000 a second glass on your anniversary. 34 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,000 Colonel motherfucking Stinkmeaner, 35 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,000 I'm driving, sweetie-pooh. 36 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,000 ANNOUNCER: They picked the wrong airline. holler at your boy, I gets money. 37 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,000 Bitches like this shit, man. 38 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,000 And don't come up here complaining and shit. 39 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,000 They be thinkin' I'm one of them Mens in Black 40 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,000 You motherfuckers wanna come on here or somethin' like that, you know? 41 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,000 and act a goddamn fool? 42 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,000 could kill me or you, or somebody's baby. Y'all gonna have to kick me out of this bitch. 43 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,000 I'm about to go on break. 44 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,000 You motherfucking terrorists kill me. They be wondering where the black limo is at 45 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,000 I'd spend the next 20 years in jail being-- 46 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,000 when they see -- All they see is the headpiece, 47 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,000 BOTH: Anally raped. 48 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000 Yeah, let's talk more 49 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,000 the devil himself, a-- 50 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000 about your violated rectum. ANNOUNCER: Come see why black incompetence... 51 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000 Oh, I find it so romantic. 52 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,000 TOM: Hey, I'm just saying-- 53 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000 Whoo, whoo! 54 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000 Goddamn, that bitch phat as a motherfucker. 55 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,000 So... 56 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,000 Last week, right, I was in the strip club, right. ...is our funniest weapon in the war on terror. 57 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,000 No, thank you. 58 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,000 I had titties in one hand, titties in the other hand. 59 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,000 Ah! You baldheaded devil monks 60 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,000 We can't let you through, homey. 61 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,000 Hey, this is Osama bin Laden nephew, nigga. 62 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,000 I had two hands full of titties. 63 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,000 Well, I-- I'm -- I'm once removed. I-I-- 64 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,000 That's bigger than two scoops of raisins. 65 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,000 No -- I just fucking with you, dawg. 66 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,000 I'm still talkin' to my accountant at the same time. 67 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,000 Go ahead, nigga. 68 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,000 ANNOUNCER: Starring Gary Anthony Williams. What's not to like about that? 69 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,000 But you know what they say -- when it's your time to go, 70 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,000 it's your time to go. John Witherspoon. 71 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,000 or when you're talkin' on the goddamn phone. 72 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,000 What if it's the motherfucker next to me time to go? Huh? 73 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,000 Second, when people wear those things, 74 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,000 I see ya. 75 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,000 Mo'Nique. It's very important 76 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,000 TOM: Ah. Now, that's what There's a name for people who talk to theyselves, Ed. 77 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,000 this plane leave on time. 78 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,000 Damn. Now, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? 79 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,000 has earned you a trip back. 80 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,000 Snoop Dogg. Hijacked? 81 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,000 Them niggas ain't getting my wizzie fo' shizzle, nigga. You have my blessings to exact vengeance 82 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,000 I don't know what to do with my hands now. 83 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,000 You know what I'm saying? And 50 Cent Be that as it may, no technology is worth my dignity. 84 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,000 and to spread ignorance and chaos 85 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,000 as Air Marshal 50 Cent. 86 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,000 If talking on a wireless headset mean I gotta look 87 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,000 ...people are looking. 88 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,000 I'll stop those terrorists... 89 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,000 Tom, please. 90 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,000 or die trying. 91 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,000 Besides, there's a reason 92 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,000 Honey. Honey, maybe this isn't the best place to be singing-- 93 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,000 STINKMEANER: Ah! Hell ain't shit. 94 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,000 It lets people around you know you're talkin' on the phone. Get ready. This time, it's going down. 95 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,000 I'm gonna get you, Freeman! 96 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,000 So those people know not to waste time talkin' to you 97 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,000 This is a hijacking. Remain in your seats -- 98 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,000 Yay. All done. 99 00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,000 No, this nigga didn't. 100 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,000 We have a bomb on the aircraft. 101 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,000 Everyone remain -- 102 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,000 Good. 103 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,000 SARAH: Yay. 104 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,000 Ah! Oh, my God. 105 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,000 when you bend over. I like that a lot. 106 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,000 What is it, honey? 107 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,000 Wait. Is that Usher? 108 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,000 I'm about to go get dressed. 109 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,000 Yes! Oh, my God. 110 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,000 I hate these fucking headsets. 111 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,000 He's coming over. 112 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,000 We gonna fly on the Soul Plane! 113 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,000 I can't believe this. 114 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,000 TOM: Oh, sweetie, 115 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000 Hey, how you doin', babe? 116 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,000 Hi, uh, uh, Mr. Usher. 117 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,000 I-- I can't believe it's you. 118 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,000 I'm Sarah. 119 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,000 You have a beautiful smile, Sarah. 120 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,000 Mm-hm. 121 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,000 Mm! Wow, so she's on my friends list? 122 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,000 Yup, she your very first cyber friend 123 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,000 A while for me? 124 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,000 and you're her 3 millionth. 125 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,000 SARAH: I love this song. 126 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,000 GRANDDAD: Yeah, boy! I love technology. 127 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,000 HUEY: My granddad recently 128 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,000 Oh, wonderful. 129 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,000 You should post more pics. 130 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,000 Thank you very much. Oh. Oh, God. 131 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,000 Uh-- 132 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,000 I'm starting to feel like Shemar Moore up in here. 133 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,000 That was beautiful. It's just what I do. 134 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,000 Oh, um, this is, uh...Tom. 135 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,000 Hoo! Boy, let's get some music on. 136 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,000 Turn on the My-pod and let's get on the I-space. 137 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,000 Yes, I'm Tom. Just Tom. 138 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,000 GRANDDAD: Riley, hurry up. 139 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,000 USHER: Hey, how 140 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,000 The police were talking 141 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,000 to everyone on our street for clues. you want next, Granddad? 142 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,000 SARAH: You are so interesting. 143 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,000 The leather vest. The one with the rhinestones. We gonna fly on the Soul Plane! 144 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,000 Well, almost everyone. 145 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,000 If you don't mind me asking, 146 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,000 And make sure you pee before we leave. Granddad, I-- 147 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,000 I ain't gonna miss my movie 148 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,000 going to the bathroom with you. 149 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,000 Officer, I'm not finished. 150 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,000 I'm gonna let you go in there by yourself 151 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,000 Hello, sir, I'm Officer Calloway. and get molested by a nasty white man. 152 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,000 Now, what's wrong with you? Why the long face? It's not just the music. I have seen all of your movies. 153 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,000 What's wrong with you? 154 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,000 I don't wanna go to the movie. Why not? 155 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,000 Uh...cheers. I don't ever wanna go to the movies with you again. 156 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,000 I loved Light It Up. Talk and shoot at the same time, boy. 157 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,000 Not after what happened last time. 158 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,000 I named my dog Light It Up. Girl, please. "Beat It" or "Thriller"? 159 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,000 What happened last time? 160 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,000 We got arrested. And shot at. 161 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,000 is a common trait with black people. 162 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,000 So funny. She's my manager. 163 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,000 Ah. Racism. Take 'em back and go get my purple Speedo. 164 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,000 Daddy said I can go to the movies, 165 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,000 I'll call her. Hee-hee-hee. RILEY: Purple Speedo? 166 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,000 but he said I'm not allowed to see Soul Plane. are culturally inclined against snitching. 167 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,000 All right, boy, so you had a bad dream. 168 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,000 Good. You don't wanna go to the movies with him. 169 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,000 It was a really bad dream about-- Okay, one more. 170 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,000 He's crazy. Hush. 171 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,000 Please, we gotta get one more. Look at that one. Did you check the Speedo drawer? 172 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,000 Can't see Soul Plane? Why, little baby? 173 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,000 Man, fuck yo' mama! 174 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,000 Because of the types of stereos or something. 175 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,000 It'd be good for my vocals. It was about Stinkmeaner. 176 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,000 Types of stereos? an unwritten rule about snitching 177 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,000 Oh. No, no, no, little baby doll. 178 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,000 USHER: I'm gonna has become a full-blown "stop snitching" movement, 179 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,000 Wouldn't let that shit happen to me though. 180 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,000 This is a good theater. They have THX. 181 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,000 USHER: You rollin' with Ush. 182 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,000 Damn, these things are tight. What about Stinkmeaner? 183 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,000 Take the murder of 19-year-old Jermaine "Lojack" Walker, 184 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,000 He was in hell, and he was coming back to get us. 185 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,000 She means stereotypes. 186 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,000 Stinkmeaner? Don't be crazy. Stereotypes? In Soul Plane? That's nonsense. 187 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,000 That old man that Granddad killed for no reason? 188 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,000 in the middle of a summer afternoon 189 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,000 Say, how about we tell your daddy No reason? That man was a psycho. 190 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,000 Yes, yes, I see the ears. 191 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,000 we saw something else, hm? 192 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,000 Nobody even called the cops. They all just went home. 193 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,000 He was blind. You killed a blind old man. You mean...lie? 194 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,000 the slightest bit inappropriate? 195 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,000 That really doesn't seem to be a good idea. 196 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,000 Hush, boy. And I sent him to hell where he belongs. 197 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,000 You know, 198 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,000 it's okay to break the rules 199 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,000 He asked me to send him the pictures. Yeah, Granddad, real tough with the handicapped. 200 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,000 every once in a while. 201 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,000 I won't tell if you won't. You damn right, Mr. Policeman! I saw the whole thing! 202 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,000 He probably gonna beat up some retarded kids next. 203 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,000 Okay. Hee-hee. 204 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,000 which make sense, because she's 10. 205 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,000 HUEY: Sometimes I think Granddad may be a bad influence. 206 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,000 What's that supposed to mean? that's what he's gonna do. 207 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,000 It means you're a bit old to be acting 208 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,000 Hey, Riley. Don't forget the camcorder. 209 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,000 like some screaming TRL groupie. 210 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,000 ...every cookout... 211 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,000 Oh, yeah, your dream. 212 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,000 Now, the first Soul Plane was funny. 213 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,000 Look, boy, 214 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,000 Pfft. About as funny as a lynching. ...every wedding... 215 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,000 Oh, hush, boy. You ain't even see it. 216 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,000 Stop the car! He can't hurt you or me or any of us, okay? 217 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,000 I never seen a lynching, either, 218 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,000 but I know they not funny. 219 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,000 Where I live, 220 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,000 See? Shows what you know. I've seen funny lynchings. Now, let's get one more picture. 221 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,000 No, you haven't. I have so. 222 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,000 They even have a club for snitches. 223 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,000 Roscoe Patterson's lynching was funny. 224 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,000 It's called the neighborhood watch. 225 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,000 Yeah, so them niggas was like, of zombies or vampires, 226 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,000 "Roscoe, you better leaves town 227 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,000 Hold it right there, boy! 228 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,000 "before Mr. Charlie and them crackers 229 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,000 Woodcrest neighborhood watch. 230 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,000 gonna come for you." 231 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,000 Now, where was you at 11:00 last night, huh? Huh?! 232 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,000 I'm like, "Man, fuck them crackers, man. 233 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,000 Come on, now! Don't lie to me, nigga! This is Roscoe Patterson." Nigga, I don't give a fuck. 234 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,000 Nigga, I was in bed. 235 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,000 I just don't give a fuck. 236 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,000 That nigga's my age. But Stinkmeaner knew that every black man's spirit 237 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,000 Know what I'm saying? White man can eat a dick. 238 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,000 So you guys don't think I'm overreacting? 239 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,000 Eat my balls, nigga. 240 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,000 I don't think so. 241 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,000 MAN: There he is! Get that nigger. 242 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,000 You're a bigtime lawyer, 243 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,000 Uh-oh. The law say when the bicycle stop, 244 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,000 Oh, come on, you n-- Nincompoop. 245 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,000 Come on, let's go! the wheels supposed to stop. 246 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,000 MAN: Oh, shoot, he's fast! Watch out! 247 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,000 You can't do that! Hey, come on. 248 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,000 It, uh, wasn't really funny after that. 249 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,000 You can't hear the movie. 250 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,000 Mm-mm. 251 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,000 This is gonna be so much fun. I'm calling the police. Stop! 252 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,000 This is going to be... 253 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,000 OLD MAN: Can we bring in the Army? 254 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,000 ...the worst day of your life. How long will we wait on the police to protect us? 255 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,000 I had my blinker on and everything. 256 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,000 Oh, I didn't say she was cheating. 257 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,000 Fuck you, punk-ass, bougie-ass, hook-ass nigga! 258 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,000 I'm bringing nunchucks. Can we bring in the Army?! 259 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,000 I'll beat your motherfucking ass, nigga! 260 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,000 This is a tragedy. Huh? 261 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,000 The white man ain't never done nothin' to nobody, 262 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,000 I say toss her groupie ass out the window 263 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,000 Fuck with me, nigga, and I'll be popping a trunk 264 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,000 and let that ho stargaze from outside. 265 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,000 and he don't deserve this. 266 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,000 Get my motherfucking Uzi. Now, Riley, there's never a place 267 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,000 for violence in a relationship. 268 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,000 People, calm down. 269 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,000 There sure seemed to be a place at the restaurant last night. 270 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,000 We've let the predators think we're weak. 271 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,000 Here, put these coats on. 272 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,000 She made you look like a bitch in front of Usher. You know what, motherfucker? 273 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,000 Huh? 274 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,000 Boy, watch your mouth. 275 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,000 Probably started out charitable. 276 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,000 GRANDDAD: Here you go. It was them Freeman boys. 277 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,000 What is it? 278 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,000 It's pinto beans and neck bones. 279 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,000 But, Granddad, she did make Mr. DuBois look like a bitch. 280 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,000 Now put this meat loaf and gravy under your shirt. 281 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,000 Yeah, I said it. 282 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,000 Why don't we just get treats from the concession stand? -Now, Ruckus, that's crazy. -If they're so innocent, 283 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,000 but find a different way to say it. 284 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,000 Next thing you know, 285 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,000 you rubbin' against that silky white skin. Oh. 286 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,000 You think I'm paying $20 for some popcorn? 287 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,000 RUCKUS: Yeah. Why wouldn't they? 288 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,000 But I don't know the non-curse way 289 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,000 You must be out of your damn mind. 290 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,000 to say he got bitched. 291 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,000 Humiliated, castrated, emasc-- Oh-- Oh, my God. 292 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,000 Are we allowed to bring in food? 293 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,000 Of course we're allowed to. 294 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,000 I love talking to the police. 295 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,000 It's my food, isn't it? I paid for it. We're gonna go check 'em out. 296 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,000 That means I can eat it when and where I want. Did-- Did anyone see who accosted this man? 297 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,000 If you lost your ho to T.I., 298 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,000 I'd be like, "Hey, that's T.I." 299 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,000 Boy, put this pot roast in your pants or you ain't eating. I got a date? I can't believe it. 300 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,000 Oh, this is nothing. He's just getting started. 301 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,000 is not a law-enforcement agency. 302 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,000 You better check that ho, Mr. DuBois. 303 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,000 You know what? You guys are right. 304 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,000 No interrogations! 305 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,000 HUEY: Robert Jebediah Freeman Granddad, you don't skydive, 306 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,000 had sworn a lifetime intifada 307 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,000 and ask them to join the neighborhood watch, 308 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,000 against the movie theater industry 309 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,000 and you never was a member of G-Unit. for exorbitant prices and poor customer service, 310 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,000 want to go to a basketball game just to see the game, 311 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,000 And let's all of us reach out to all our other neighbors 312 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,000 which, interestingly enough, 313 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,000 come back with one of them NBA niggas out of sympathy? 314 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,000 did not stop him from going to see movies. 315 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,000 Okay, gang. Keep your eyes open. MAN: So, Mrs. Wong, 316 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,000 She wanted to be entertained. 317 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,000 Open for what? 318 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,000 We're sneaking in. 319 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,000 Oh, the white woman's got a big heart. 320 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,000 That's not true, little baby. 321 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,000 beating him senseless with a nine iron, 322 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,000 I bought my tickets online. Scout's honor. 323 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,000 stealing his wallet and driving his car 324 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,000 Look. Granddad. 325 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,000 I got some money saved. The movie will be on me. 326 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,000 Correct. 327 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,000 Now, you put that away, boy. 328 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,000 These movie devils ain't getting 329 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,000 any more of our money. 330 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,000 Mm-mm. Now, Mrs. Wong, let me ask you a question. 331 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,000 Uh...Mr. Freeman? 332 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,000 Ask the question, Miss von Hausen. 333 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,000 It says, "No outside food," little girl. 334 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,000 What's good, nigga? Is your granddad home? 335 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,000 That's why we keep it inside our clothes. 336 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,000 VON HAUSEN: Mr. Freeman, 337 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,000 Are you sure this is legal? 338 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,000 Granddad. Mr. DuBois' at the door. 339 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,000 Now, as you know, we've had some home invasions recently. 340 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,000 Okay, everybody, look alive now. Here's our chance. 341 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,000 You's a bitch. 342 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,000 -Mm-hm. -We were concerned to hear 343 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,000 I understand you need your job, that you refused to talk to the police. 344 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,000 but you're still a human being with dignity. 345 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,000 I would love to let you crash, 346 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,000 Yeah, I mean, look at this uniform, man. No snitchin'. 347 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,000 I look like a fucking dork. 348 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,000 Why would they make me dress like this? You've also refused our previous invitations 349 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,000 What did I do to them, huh? 350 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,000 to join the neighborhood watch, You should take action. 351 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,000 and we could use your support. 352 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,000 Ah. What can I do? 353 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,000 Our motto is: Neighbors watching neighbors. 354 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,000 Thank you so much, Robert. 355 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,000 See, boys? See why 356 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,000 Have you ever thought about forming a union? Fuck your court! 357 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,000 Oh, I'm watchin', all right. I'm watchin' this neighborhood 358 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,000 What's a "union"? 359 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,000 MAN: Hey, hey, hey! Hey! become a bunch of damn tattletales. 360 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,000 I paid. I got my ticket. 361 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,000 Good one, granddad. 362 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,000 Yeah, yeah. I got a ticket for you. 363 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,000 You killin' 'em. 364 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,000 A one-way ticket to "Get the hell Property was stolen, Mr. Freeman. 365 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,000 out of here, negro" land. 366 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,000 Go on! Move it! 367 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,000 The sanctity of our community was violated. 368 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,000 Tough titty. 369 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,000 I ain't got time for this bullshit. 370 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,000 Nigga, you gay. 371 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,000 How about that? 372 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,000 See it's burnin' me to hold onto this. 373 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,000 Another victory of the common man 374 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,000 HUEY: Meanwhile, I couldn't 375 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,000 over corporate greed. 376 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,000 You're not advancing any struggle RUCKUS: Sorry he touched you, Miss von Hausen. 377 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,000 that an evil force was gathering. 378 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,000 by being cheap, Granddad. 379 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,000 I'll advance my belt on your behind 380 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,000 if you don't shut your ass. 381 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,000 Oh, my God. You almost touched Miss von Hausen! 382 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,000 I didn't pay to get in the movie. MAN: Nah, you ain't crazy. 383 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,000 I love you 384 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,000 Uh, yes, we did. I -- I ordered my tickets online. 385 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,000 It's just, I feel like this 386 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,000 Who got the neck bones? 387 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,000 No, you didn't. 388 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,000 is coming to an end. 389 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,000 We snuck in. 390 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,000 Ghostface Killah isn't even dead. 391 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,000 We stole a movie. 392 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,000 Now, who makes the rules? 393 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,000 that goofy-looking motherfucker is coming back. 394 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,000 Grownups, right? 395 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,000 Your granddad's nigga moment ain't dead yet. 396 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,000 And I'm grown up, and I say it's okay. 397 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,000 But what am I supposed to do? 398 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,000 We're gonna get caught. 399 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,000 We're gonna get caught. If death can't stop Stinkmeaner, what can? 400 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,000 I should call my daddy and turn myself in. 401 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,000 Think about it. Peace. 402 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,000 Oh, yeah? You gonna tell him 403 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,000 -Shh-shh-Shh. 404 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,000 what you came to see, huh? 405 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,000 I bet he'd like to know that. 406 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000 Maybe I should make a phone call. RUCKUS: Oh... 407 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,000 No. Please, no. 408 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,000 Good. Now just calm down. 409 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,000 RUCKUS: Mm-hm. 410 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,000 Try some mashed potatoes. Who got the popcorn? 411 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,000 ED: If you had a headset like mine, 412 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,000 I do, Granddad. 413 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,000 Nah, baby, I'm still here. 414 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,000 Ow! Hey. 415 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,000 What the hell is wrong with you? 416 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,000 Watch it, boy, don't step on my roses. 417 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,000 What am I gonna do with raw popcorn? 418 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,000 VON HAUSEN: What was that? 419 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,000 You're gonna ruin my dentures. 420 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,000 Whew. Damn, can't watch a movie without popcorn. 421 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000 Heh. Word down at the gym is that he done wore 422 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,000 Now I gotta spend all my damn money 423 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,000 I gotta deal with 424 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,000 on a bucket of popcorn. 425 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,000 Now, it's date night and you know the rules. 426 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,000 Hear that? Sounds like niggas. 427 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,000 You get in that room. 428 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,000 Told you. I don't care if you hear scream 429 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,000 USHER: 430 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,000 RUCKUS: What you see, Miss von Hausen? 431 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,000 When your feeling 432 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,000 Shit, he -- he just hatin' 'cause, see, 433 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,000 You gotta let it go 434 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,000 Jumpin' like it used to 435 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,000 Oh, shit! 436 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,000 Honey, I'm home. 437 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,000 RUCKUS: Buck 'em down, Miss von Hausen! 438 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,000 Let it burn 439 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,000 We're takin' fire! Run! 440 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,000 Oh, yeah! 441 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,000 -RUCKUS: Get them negroes! -ED: They shootin'! 442 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,000 It's best 443 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,000 No, no, no, I'm still here. Yo, can I still come over? 444 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,000 Tom, what's gotten into you? 445 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,000 Of her being with someone-- 446 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,000 Come on. You want some of this? Come on. 447 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,000 Oh. Help me. 448 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,000 MAN: Car! 449 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,000 Oh, Tom! 450 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,000 Get 'em, Miss von Hausen! 451 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000 That's the way! Wait, Miss von Hausen. 452 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,000 I'm gonna make it do what it do. 453 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,000 I'll give you anything. Ah! 454 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000 SARAH: Oh, Tom! 455 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000 Come on, now! Buck 'em down! 456 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,000 RUMMY: Riley! Hey, Riley, look, man, 457 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,000 ANNOUNCER: Don't steal movies. 458 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,000 I need somewhere to hide. Niggas are shootin', man. 459 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,000 Niggas are shootin'? ED: Hey! 460 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,000 This the car that got pimped out by Xzibit. 461 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,000 Say, motherfucker, you on the phone or you talking to me? 462 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,000 Hello? 463 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,000 I'm talkin' to Riley. 464 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,000 SARAH: It's Sarah. 465 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,000 GRANDDAD: Damn. Hey, y'all see the new rims I got on my bike? 466 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,000 Large freshly popped popcorn, please. And lots of butter. This thing has a push-button starter like a racecar. 467 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,000 to her recital practice at 3, right? 468 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,000 Anything else? 469 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,000 Yes. 470 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,000 I asked for butter on it. 471 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,000 Butter's over there. Well, I'm in the studio with Snoop Doggy Dogg 472 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,000 Are you doing the music video thing again? 473 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,000 I don't wanna put the butter on it. Why can't you do it? 474 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,000 Whoa, whoa! What y'all doin'? 475 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000 Gotta go, honey. Bye. 476 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,000 You're supposed to put the butter on it. 477 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,000 I don't wanna put the butter on it. 478 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,000 I'm already paying $20 for this bullshit popcorn. 479 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,000 I'm still burnin' 480 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,000 But how about, uh, tomorrow, cutie pie? 481 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,000 I will not demean myself Y'all can't take my granddad's car. 482 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,000 by putting butter on popcorn. 483 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,000 Stop, Ed. 484 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,000 Why? It's really easy. Why? 485 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,000 Don't want to STINKMEANER: Ha! 486 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,000 Because I don't work at the movie theater, that's why. 487 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,000 What the--? 488 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,000 You're supposed to put the butter on it. Who's out there? Boys! Boys, help me. 489 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,000 If I go to Burger King and order a cheeseburger, 490 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,000 Bruise you 491 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,000 they don't make me put the cheese on it, do 492 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,000 Let it burn 493 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,000 I see, I see. Just 'cause your skin is light, bright, 494 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,000 Let it burn 495 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,000 Gotta let it burn 496 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,000 and two shades from being white, 497 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000 you think you too good to butter your own popcorn. 498 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,000 Oh 499 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,000 Well, you wrong, Lando Calrissian. 500 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,000 Oh, sweet Jesus! 501 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,000 Damn it, Ruckus. Y'all gonna put some butter on this popcorn. 502 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,000 It's burning. Oh, Lordy Lord. 503 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,000 VON HAUSEN: He saw it! He saw everything. 504 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,000 Hey, Tom. Shut the fuck up. 505 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,000 Tom, go away! I'm gonna call the police. 506 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,000 GRANDDAD: Boy, watch your mouth. 507 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,000 Did you hear that? 508 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,000 We put our lives on the line every day to make movies, 509 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,000 Man, I can't hear nothing over Granddad's gay-ass music. 510 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,000 Damn it. Hurry up, boy. Tell us who did it. 511 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,000 Now, you're gonna tell me who stole my car and then people come along and steal all that hard work. 512 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,000 Look out, new message. 513 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,000 or I'm gonna get my belt or a 2x4 and go upside your head! 514 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,000 Who would do something like that? 515 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,000 A terrible, awful human being that no one will ever love. 516 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,000 Could be worse. 517 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,000 That's who. 518 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,000 I'm so sorry, Mr. Stuntman. 519 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,000 I pays for my car! 520 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,000 Thank you for that perspective, Huey. I ain't getting it for him neither. Nope. 521 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,000 Hey. Get to the flick. 522 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,000 No problem. Why would he send a message from--? 523 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,000 What happened to the movies? 524 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,000 Y'all should be ashamed. In the street. What streets? 525 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,000 What the hell? Tom, what's going on? 526 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,000 Why is it when I order a soda pop, 527 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,000 I get a empty cup? 528 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,000 I didn't order a empty cup. Mm-mm. I can't do it, Granddad. I can't talk to the po-po. 529 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,000 I ordered a soda pop. 530 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,000 And what asshole started putting commercials in movies? Tell Granddad. He's not the police. 531 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,000 I can see commercials at home on TV. STINKMEANER: Oh, you running? 532 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,000 So this is the message you want to send 533 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,000 And the bathroom stink. Clean the fucking bathroom! 534 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,000 You promise not to tell? 535 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,000 to the young youth out here like myself Oh, my goodness, some black people are crazy. 536 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,000 I'm not gonna take it anymore! 537 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,000 I pay too much damn money for these movie tickets 538 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,000 and not love these ho's, huh? 539 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,000 W-w-w-what's all this? Oh! Ahhh! 540 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,000 to butter my own motherfucking popcorn! 541 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,000 Is this what's hot right now in the streets? 542 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,000 Goodness gracious to life. 543 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,000 It's only popcorn. How am I gonna get my butter beans? 544 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,000 Tom, what's wrong with you? 545 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,000 All for some white girl who left you for an RandB dancing-ass, 546 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,000 You on that stuff? Snap out of it, Tom. 547 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,000 sexy-flexy- ass nigga? 548 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,000 When did you get here? Cocaine's a hell of a drug. 549 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,000 Huh? 550 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,000 I'm sorry. 551 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,000 Well, I been at the ticket window all day long, that's why Daddy is 552 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,000 and I don't remember you buying no ticket, Don't snitch, Granddad. 553 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,000 Robert Freeman. They don't know nothin' unless you tell 'em. 554 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,000 Uh, I-I-I got my tickets online. 555 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,000 Aha! A damn lie. GRANDDAD: Damn it! Damn it. Come here. 556 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,000 "Ahhh" ain't my name. 557 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,000 I ain't never met a nigga MAN: Sir, please release the child. 558 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,000 smart enough to use a personal computer. Release the child. TOM: You're choking him out! 559 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,000 Not even a Macintosh. 560 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,000 HUEY: Stinkmeaner. 561 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,000 being the driving force Uh... 562 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,000 behind the "stop snitching" movement, 563 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,000 You'll never take me alive, you punk-asses. 564 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,000 Oh. Are you sure? 565 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,000 RUCKUS: Stop him! 566 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,000 Come on, come on. 567 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,000 He went this-a way. In 2000, rapper Gangstalicious reportedly assaulted 568 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,000 I mean, you like it here, don't you, Daddy? 569 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,000 This is a... And I'm taking y'all with me 570 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,000 with a tennis racket 571 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,000 Mm-hmm. in the first-class cabin on the ass-whupping express. 572 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,000 and a bottle of Hennessy on the set of a music video. 573 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,000 I don't know what we're gonna do, but we gotta do-- 574 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,000 Whew. Did I miss anything? 575 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,000 Mr. Freeman... Guinness refused to cooperate with authorities. 576 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,000 I don't wanna steal the movie. 577 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,000 Guys. I just wanted to thank you 578 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,000 I wanna go home! 579 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,000 Yeah. Shh! 580 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,000 for letting me stay here. 581 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,000 What's wrong with you? 582 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,000 I wanna go home. 583 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,000 Not at all, Tom. 584 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,000 You wasn't saying that back at the house, was you? Drop the beat, drop the beat, ugh. 585 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,000 Bring it on, Huey. Was you? Because you wanted to see Soul Plane 2. 586 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,000 mmm, delicious 587 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,000 Well, this is how we see Soul Plane 2. 588 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,000 no doubt we gonna win this I repeat, the terrorist said his name is Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, 589 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,000 Ooh. I got an idea. 590 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,000 I smacked Johnny Guinness 591 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,000 and he's demanding that we -- 592 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,000 Tom. Get down here. 593 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,000 Hell, no, I ain't fitting to ask him 594 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,000 for his motherfucking autograph. STINKMEANER: Whoo, come on. 595 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,000 HUEY: An hour into the movie, 596 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,000 I wasn't sure how much more I could take. 597 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:56,000 MAN: We out of food, but we got 598 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,000 Yo. Look out. 599 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,000 Pass this bag of potato chips around. 600 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,000 Tom was facing an all-out revolt. 601 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,000 Please take one. Pass it... 602 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000 TOM: Please, people! Riley Freeman will talk. 603 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,000 He's in here. I know Robert. 604 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,000 He don't miss a coon flick. 605 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,000 And this, sir, is an intervention. 606 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,000 What is it? What's happening? 607 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,000 An intervention? Your friends have 608 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,000 Shh. Don't make a sound. 609 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,000 from chronic bitch dependency, Mr. DuBois. 610 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,000 STINKMEANER: All right, here we go. 611 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,000 May I call you Tom? 612 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,000 Is this some kind of joke? 613 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,000 I promise you, Riley will talk soon. 614 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,000 Tom...bitch dependency 615 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,000 : Ooh. Damn. 616 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,000 is no laughing matter. 617 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,000 Let's go check Madea's Bat Mitzvah. 618 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,000 Addiction to a bitch can fuck with your friends, Get your bars up, nigga. 619 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,000 MAN: Attention, please, passengers. 620 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,000 your health, and scary enough, even your money. 621 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,000 If you left the toilet seat up in the restroom... 622 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,000 ...faggot boy. 623 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,000 It's a disease, Tom. 624 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,000 MAN: Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about! 625 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,000 Wait. What was your name again? 626 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,000 Well, thank you for asking. GRANDDAD: Yeah! 627 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,000 Officer, I'm sorry. STINKMEANER: Whoa! Yeah, I got you now. 628 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000 I didn't mean to steal from the stuntman. 629 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,000 Get off me, you bitch ass, you faggot ass! 630 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,000 Wait. "A pimp"? 631 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,000 Named Slickback. 632 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,000 was withholding information. 633 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,000 Yes. Please say the whole thing if you would. 634 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,000 GRANDDAD: Not the lamp. No. 635 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,000 What were you about to do? 636 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,000 You were about to rat on us, weren't you? 637 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,000 This is what the movie theater industry wants, Jazmine. 638 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000 Yes, Tom. Every time. 639 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,000 STINKMEANER: I'm a-kill you. 640 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,000 Us fighting against each other. 641 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,000 You beat me in the parking lot. 642 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,000 Now, you listen here, you little bitch. Oh-ho-ho-ho, no. There's no turning back now. 643 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,000 I-I don't think I need any help 644 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,000 I'm gonna ask you some real simple questions, 645 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,000 You're in it all the way. STINKMEANER: I want my parking space. 646 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,000 and I want some real simple answers. 647 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,000 Now you're gonna get your little narrow, high-yellow ass 648 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,000 And by 649 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,000 back into the theater and enjoy Soul Plane 2. Now, you pulled into the garage and went into the house at 9:15? 650 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,000 you mean a pimp? 651 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,000 I...wanna...go...home! 652 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,000 Uh, look, I'm not trying to insult you. 653 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,000 If I'm not mistaken, it was 9:15. motherfucker. 654 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,000 Shut up. 655 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,000 You're ruining my innocence! 656 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000 Shut up. So you pulled into the garage 657 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,000 MAN: I expected to fly first-class. 658 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,000 and went into the house at 9:15? 659 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,000 I wanna go home. 660 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,000 MAN 2: Well, you ain't in first class. 661 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,000 Why we gotta put the nigga in my bed? You don't see me running around lookin' for a bitch. 662 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,000 I looked at my watch, and -- and, yes, mm-hm, mm, 9:15. 663 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,000 I know where all my bitches are, 664 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,000 Look at this. He's possessed by the ghost of Stinkmeaner. 665 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,000 So you're telling me, definitely, Granddad. What's wrong with Jazmine? 666 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,000 that you pulled into the garage 667 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,000 Boy, don't nobody listen to you. : I'm out here 668 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,000 and went into the house at 8:15? 669 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,000 She's fine. Watch the movie. 670 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,000 That's what the hell I thought. 671 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,000 Thank you, Grandma. What if he pees in the bed or vomit, or shoots a deuce? 672 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,000 Oh, that's crazy. 673 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000 Now look at you: bitchless. 674 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,000 Look at this. I...wanna...go...home. 675 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,000 Now, you see something. You know you done fucked up, right? 676 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,000 HUEY: Granddad had to be stopped. 677 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,000 I've had enough. I'm going back upstairs. 678 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,000 Tom is possessed by an evil spirit 679 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,000 I'm gonna put an end to this... GRANDDAD: No! I said, no. 680 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,000 Tom, when we first let you stay here, 681 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,000 or die trying. 682 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,000 I said I pulled into the garage at -- 683 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,000 HUEY: And so did this movie. 684 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,000 Fortunately, I thought of a way to do both. 685 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,000 You know you done fucked up, right? 686 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,000 It's only been two days. Coming. 687 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,000 Nigga, hush. You're living under my roof now. 688 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,000 Move, nigga. 689 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,000 Where you going? They're looking for us. But without Riley talking, the cops had nothing, 690 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,000 You know what? I know a great therapist. 691 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,000 Huey, come back. 692 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,000 I'll make an appointment today. 693 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,000 That... 694 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,000 Oh, this is crazy. Colored folks are something. RILEY: I know y'all seen niggas with spinning rims, right? 695 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,000 Well, hello, cutie pie. 696 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,000 But check it, check it, check it. 697 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,000 we've already paid Mr. A Pimp Named Slickback 698 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,000 I'm sayin', on a bike, though. 699 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,000 Well, hello. 700 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,000 a retainer of $2500. 701 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,000 HUEY: My plan was to get to the projector room 702 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,000 Robert, you shouldn't have. 703 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,000 and destroy the print of Soul Plane. 704 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,000 With your credit card. 705 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,000 Oh. 706 00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,000 Man, niggas... Somebody get me out of here. 707 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,000 I was rushing, and-- A PIMP NAMED SLICKBACK: Did you know 708 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,000 Oh, I think men who are comfortable with their bodies 709 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,000 Heh-heh. They just mad... 710 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,000 First, I had to go to the bathroom. 711 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,000 with a genetic predisposition are very sexy, 712 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,000 RILEY: I be like, ugh! Ugh! 713 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,000 to bitch dependency, Tom? 714 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,000 One problem black people have with snitching 715 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,000 And exactly when did you become a relationship counselor? 716 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,000 Jazmine, you're missing all the best parts. 717 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,000 Well, sharing this pimp knowledge 718 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,000 I'm not watching a stolen movie. And I like to cook, mostly pork. 719 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,000 for an exorbitant fee is my way of giving 720 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,000 Oh, well. If you don't wanna laugh. 721 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,000 something back to the community, Tom. 722 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,000 I like to clean too. Wow. 723 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,000 I want to help you, Tom. I do. 724 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,000 Oh, that's crazy. What's so funny? 725 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,000 But I need you to help me... 726 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,000 Oh, nothing. Hilarity just ensued, that's all. 727 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,000 No. 728 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,000 It did? Yeah, that's more the feds' thing. 729 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,000 Huh. 730 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,000 "Help me help you." Yeah, okay. 731 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,000 You see anything weird, you just give us a call, 732 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,000 Oh. Oh. Oh! Robert Freeman! 733 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,000 all right, buddy? Heh. Okay. 734 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,000 That was funny. 735 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,000 Darling, all the women of my cultu-- 736 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,000 MAN: Hey, Bernard! You snitch-ass motherfucker! 737 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,000 Hm? Ah. STINKMEANER: Come here and fight like a man, 738 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,000 Say it. "Bitch." Yeah. Bitch. 739 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,000 Uh, yes, we've gotta call her that, Tom. I don't hear anything. 740 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,000 RUCKUS: It's about impossible 741 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,000 I'm sorry. After what she's done, STINKMEANER: I know you hear me, Robert! 742 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,000 in this dark theater. 743 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,000 not callin' her a bitch would be disrespectful to you. 744 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,000 Yo. I think we need to shake the spizzot. 745 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,000 I will not be ignored! Got a possessed nigga here, 746 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,000 he was charged with conspiracy Huh? What? 747 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,000 Now please continue, Tom. 748 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,000 and sentenced to a month in jail. 749 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,000 Well, my wife, Sarah-- 750 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,000 GRANDDAD: Can't believe these little, young kids 751 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,000 I mean-- She's the best woman in the world. 752 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,000 Forget Jazmine. Let's go. But we couldn't. 753 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,000 Did you tell her that you got two sets of genitals? 754 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,000 She the weak link. She'll slow us down. 755 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,000 We've had a great life together until now. 756 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,000 I mean, how could we? Look, she a little girl. A vagina and a coochie. Oh, that's a conjunction. 757 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,000 gonna drink me a Red Bull, then I'm gonna wake up 758 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,000 They're not gonna give her no real time. 759 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,000 She do what? A couple months, tops. 760 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,000 I did everything I could, but if Riley doesn't talk, 761 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,000 But we both got priors. We gots to go. 762 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,000 Oh-- Oh, that? That's just the television. 763 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,000 they're both gonna be charged tomorrow. 764 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,000 Come on, Granddad. We running out of time. 765 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000 Sometimes, This is real talk, nigga. 766 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,000 in order to save the day, 767 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,000 people have to sacrifice themselves, 768 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,000 What the hell is wrong with you? This ain't a movie, Riley. 769 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000 you know what I'm saying? 770 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,000 You and Granddad about to go to jail. 771 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,000 Oh, Air Marshal 50 Cent. GRANDDAD: Wait, no. That's just the TV. 772 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,000 You're so brave It's not the fact that you obviously have a man 773 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,000 to sacrifice yourself to save us. 774 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,000 I tried to stop 'em! 775 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,000 possessed by an evil spirit strapped to a bed upstairs. 776 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,000 Not me, bitch. You. 777 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,000 Oh! Wait! Oh. Oh. 778 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000 It's not? No. 779 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,000 It's the fact that you lied about it. 780 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,000 M-May I sit down over there next to Riley? 781 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,000 A PIMP NAMED SLICKBACK: It sounds to me, Tom, 782 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,000 Huh? 783 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,000 like some of the passion 784 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,000 has gone out of your marriage. STINKMEANER: You better leave. 785 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,000 Hey. Hold this. We be right back. 786 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,000 : You've reached 787 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,000 Okay. 788 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,000 It's a normal thing in long-term relationships. 789 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,000 of the Catholic Church. 790 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,000 If you know, you can tell me. I won't tell anybody. 791 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,000 Exactly. See, what Marx is saying If you would like to report sexual abuse-- 792 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,000 is that the oppression of the proletariat 793 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,000 Damn, there's got to be somebody we can call for an exorcism. 794 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,000 is an essential facet of the exploitation Jazmine, are you wearing a wire? 795 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,000 STINKMEANER: You is a bitch! 796 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,000 inherent in the system. 797 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,000 So therefore, due to the class -- 798 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,000 What the hell is this, a snitch-athon? 799 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,000 Man, there's snitches everywhere. 800 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,000 You little half-and-half. 801 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,000 Did you know that at least 75 percent of bitches 802 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,000 Hey there, boys. 803 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,000 suffer from some kind of hearing loss? 804 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,000 I came as fast as I could. 805 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,000 This alarming statistic means that more likely than not, 806 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000 Ooh, this is uncomfortable. 807 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,000 So this is the plan... Uncle Ruckus. 808 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,000 HUEY: Oh, man. 809 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,000 RUCKUS: Let's get this party started. 810 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,000 to communicate with a bitch. 811 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,000 STINKMEANER: He's in there. 812 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,000 You got bad credit, Robert! 813 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000 Whoa. What? 814 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,000 What--? What happened to my--? RUCKUS: Removing an evil-nigga spirit 815 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,000 Yeah, the problem is, we don't live in the future, Ed. 816 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,000 If she say, "No," hit the bitch. Simple. 817 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000 We live in the present. 818 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,000 But I-- I couldn't hit Sarah. 819 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,000 Damn. It's not a cybernetic ear. It's a fuckin' cellphone headset. 820 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,000 Has not hittin' a bitch been working? 821 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,000 He's right there! has given us to fight niggas. 822 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,000 I mean, scientifically speaking, A whip, a noose, a nightstick, a branding iron. 823 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,000 has not hittin' the bitch achieved the desired results? 824 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,000 Hey! 825 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,000 No way. I just-- 826 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,000 Have you seen that shit in the mirror? 827 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,000 I-- I-I can't. I-- I couldn't. 828 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,000 You look like you're going to a fuckin' comic-book convention. 829 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,000 Tom. I won't. 830 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,000 Tom, Take a deep breath. 831 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,000 It's okay. People have phobias. 832 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,000 STINKMEANER: You ain't right, Robert. 833 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,000 GUARD: Yeah. RUCKUS: The nigga will lie. 834 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,000 Hold up, hold up. I'm getting a call. 835 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,000 you can't go upside a bitch's head. 836 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,000 Yeah. What's good, baby? 837 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,000 Okay. We can beat this. 838 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,000 Tom, this is my bottom bitch, If he gets really desperate, he may start to rap or dance. 839 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,000 Sweetest Taboo. 840 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,000 Now, she's gonna help you learn how to STINKMEANER: You all, uh, testicles 841 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 842 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,000 reestablish dominance at home. 843 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,000 I ain't seen no naked pictures, girl. 844 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,000 Send them to my Sidekick. 845 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,000 Hello. Heh. 846 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,000 Taboo will be playing the role of your wife. 847 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,000 There's powerful niggadry at work here. 848 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,000 Now, approach Taboo, 849 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,000 grab her arm firmly 850 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,000 RUCKUS: Ah... Who's there, huh? 851 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,000 ...wrong house. 852 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,000 Okay. 853 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,000 Sarah, get your behind-- 854 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,000 I been waiting on this day 855 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,000 Yeah, yeah, I'm still here. Motherfucker done shot me. 856 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,000 since your little uppity ass came into town. 857 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,000 Do I have to call her a bitch, really? 858 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,000 Yes, Tom. You have to call her a bitch. 859 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,000 GRANDDAD: I don't get it. 860 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,000 Trust me on this one. 861 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,000 I've done the research. Now, try again. 862 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,000 Why your dumbass robbing people? 863 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000 'Cause I'm an American. Shit. 864 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,000 It's the American way, man. Shit. 865 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,000 Bitch, get your behind-- 866 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000 Is that all you got, nigga? You won't kill me, Air Marshal 50 Cent. 867 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000 Ass. 868 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,000 See, as I broke it down to Ed, pops, 869 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,000 That's just the tip of this iceberg. 870 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,000 You'll only die trying. if people don't have a need, then there won't be no demand, 871 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,000 Read, nigga, read! 872 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,000 No! Kiss my ass, you little-dick, faggot motherfucker. 873 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,000 Or, uh, I'm, uh-- 874 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,000 Or... Turns out Ed and Rummy were breaking into homes 875 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,000 Or I'm gonna die... 876 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,000 with Usher in the first place! 877 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,000 trying. 878 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,000 What? What? 879 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,000 You thought you was the only one which was owned by Ed's grandfather. 880 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,000 who mastered the ancient and deadly art of the nunchaku? 881 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,000 It's now tragically obvious 882 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,000 The irony is, Granddad had already signed up 883 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,000 that reasoning with the bitch 884 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,000 for Wuncler Security. 885 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000 is not gonna work, Tom. 886 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,000 You have to hit her. Repeat after me the holy phrase: 887 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,000 I am an assistant district attorney, for chrissake. 888 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,000 Heh. Well, now, y'all get it right next time. 889 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,000 Tom... 890 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000 you have to get past this. Nigga, get your black ass outta here. 891 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,000 It's okay, faggot...really. RUCKUS: Yeah, take that 892 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,000 See, faggot? She just gave you permission. 893 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,000 Hey, thanks for being so cool about this, pops. outta here. 894 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,000 Ah. My chin-- You see that? 895 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,000 Anyway, Granddad got his car back, and that was that. 896 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,000 Bitch is hittin' you. All right, lady. 897 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,000 Okay-- Ow! 898 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000 You're definitely allowed by law to hit her now, Tom. ALL: Nigga, get your black ass 899 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000 It's self-defense. I didn't do anything. 900 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,000 Okay? Sweetest Taboo, Hey, Ed, give your granddaddy my best. 901 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,000 ALL: Nigga, get your black ass 902 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,000 This isn't an exorcism, it's a beating. 903 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,000 This is my state-of-the-art surveillance center. 904 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,000 They did it. 905 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,000 Why does a pimp need a surveillance center? 906 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000 ALL: Nigga, get your black ass 907 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,000 Here's 50. 908 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,000 Ah... 909 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,000 is state-of-the-art bitch surveillance. 910 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,000 Your mothers ain't shit. 911 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000 Come, negro-san. Them ain't no negroes! It couldn't be them. 912 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000 your wife's conversations and e-mails. 913 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,000 Daddy, I've got transcripts of all her conversations today. HUEY: Several hours later, 914 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,000 WOMAN: No way. 915 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,000 No mention of Usher. 916 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,000 I'm hacking into her e-mail now, 917 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,000 That was great, Granddad. 918 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,000 but, tsk, this computer is running a bit slow. 919 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,000 Boy, I wish we could've seen the end of that movie. 920 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,000 I don't know. he's got nigga in him. 921 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,000 I feel bad for leaving Huey and what's-her-name. 922 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,000 Bitch, don't start with that 923 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,000 They knew the risks. 924 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000 Ow! So they might do a little time. 925 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,000 You say that shit every time a new iMac comes out. GHOSTFACE: What the fuck is wrong 926 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,000 We see 'em when they get out. 927 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,000 Uh...it doesn't seem right. 928 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,000 You ain't slick. You better 929 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,000 I'm going back and turning myself in. and what you gonna say to the cops? 930 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,000 and stop playin' with me. 931 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,000 Turn yourself--? Man-- 932 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,000 Yes, Daddy. 933 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,000 Granddad, look, come on. 934 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,000 Someone stole my bike. I mean, I love Huey. Almost like a brother. 935 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,000 Does she have a MySpace page? Can you just tell me what to do, so I can go to bed? 936 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,000 But what's done is done. We got to let go of the past. 937 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000 Spinning, baby! 938 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,000 I don't think Sarah would have a-- 939 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000 If he don't come back, can I have his side of the room? 940 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,000 Huh. 941 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,000 Uh, since when did she have a MySpace page? 942 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,000 Ah, come on, Granddad. Peace? Peace? Peace. 943 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,000 You know what her password might be? 944 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,000 You supposed to be setting a better example. 945 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,000 Stinkmeaner, you hate black people, don't you? 946 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,000 You just wait till the manager gets here. 947 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,000 each other's middle names as passwords, 948 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,000 I sure do. 949 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000 He gonna throw the book at both of y'all. 950 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,000 That's L-A-N-- Got it. I mean, I hate everyone in general, 951 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,000 This is the worst day... 952 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,000 Password is "Usher." Here we go. 953 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000 Nothin'. 954 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,000 Where's your bike? of my entire life. 955 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,000 They're getting together at 3:00 956 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,000 I wouldn't exactly call them people, but yeah. 957 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,000 Told you. 958 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,000 That's in an hour. We have to go. 959 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,000 Yeah, I have a deep distaste for Negroids. 960 00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,000 I hope you got some insurance on those spinners. 961 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,000 Here's the guardian for the kids. 962 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,000 That's right, Ruckus. Right, right. And, Stinkmeaner, I bet you hate rap music. 963 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,000 We snuck into the movie, too. 964 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,000 then going there won't help. 965 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,000 We? You said you was gonna turn yourself in. Thank you for not snitching! 966 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,000 I paid you $2000, and $500 as well. 967 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,000 Heh-heh. "Stanky-booty." Please. Let the kids go. I'll take responsibility. 968 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,000 I must say that's a brilliant observation, 'Meaner. 969 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,000 Now, Tom, I hope you can appreciate 970 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,000 Look like y'all all going down. 971 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,000 our no-refunds policy. a nigga moment 972 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,000 How about a complimentary date with Sweetest Taboo? 973 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000 The manager's not coming. 974 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,000 Cinema's closed indefinitely. 975 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,000 No, no, no. 976 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,000 Looks like everyone walked out. Something about a union. 977 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,000 and we're going now. 978 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,000 What? The manager ain't coming? 979 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,000 Ohh... 980 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,000 Well, call the police. 981 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,000 The FBI. Homeland Security. 982 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,000 Yeah, bitch. Let's go. 983 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,000 You mean, we gonna let 984 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,000 this African hooliganism go unpunished? 985 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,000 You have problems, Mr. Freeman, and you need help. 986 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,000 Thanks for coming back... 987 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000 eventually. 988 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,000 Yo, you need to stop snitching, Granddad. 989 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000 Ah. Ow. Hey. 990 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,000 Why don't you call social services 991 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,000 and turn yourself in for child abuse? 992 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,000 Remember to hit the bitch. 993 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,000 Hey, man. : Hey, guys. 994 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,000 Thank you so much for doing that. I mean, you guys 995 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,000 You guys unionized and staged a walkout that quickly? 996 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,000 just went above and beyond. 997 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000 I mean, really-- 998 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,000 That's amazing. 999 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,000 Oh, yeah. We unionized. 1000 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,000 I mean, bitch... 1001 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,000 Then someone called the corporate headquarters, 1002 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,000 and they shut down the whole place. Possessed or not, you gonna fix my damn house. 1003 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,000 Fired everybody. 1004 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,000 Oh. You gonna have another demon, 1005 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,000 Well, um... 1006 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,000 power to the people? 1007 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,000 Fuck you. 1008 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,000 Tom, please calm down a real good question. 1009 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,000 and let me go. 1010 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,000 Why are you in my bed? 1011 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,000 All the beds in this house 1012 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,000 Well, that's that. 1013 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,000 I think we all learned a valuable lesson today 1014 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,000 about stealing movies. 1015 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,000 Buy the bootleg. 1016 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,000 Or just download it from the Internet 1017 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,000 like everybody else. 1018 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,000 Ah! 1019 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,000 The hell--? TOM: You can't have my wife! 1020 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,000 Tom! 1021 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,000 Daddy. What did you do to Usher? 1022 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,000 Hey. Can you guys wait here a sec? 1023 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,000 There's something I need to take care of. 1024 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,000 Daddy. Leave Usher alone. 1025 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,000 What are you doing? 1026 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,000 Why are you trying to kill Usher? 1027 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000 Yes, Super Fly. What did Usher ever do to you? 1028 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,000 Jazmine wanted to meet Usher. 1029 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,000 You're an animal. 1030 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,000 Is Usher okay? 1031 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,000 So you're not--? No. 1032 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,000 GUARD: Uh-huh, uh-huh. Easy, boys. 1033 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,000 Ow! 1034 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,000 Yeah, nigga. 1035 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000 TOM: Oh, okay. I see what this is. 1036 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000 SARAH: Stop! Don't hurt him. 1037 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,000 He didn't mean it. 1038 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,000 He was trying to hit me. 1039 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,000 Tom! TOM: 1040 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:12,000 I'm sorry, Usher! 1041 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,000 USHER: Shut the fuck up,